{"id":2198,"date":"2026-10-13T12:17:39","date_gmt":"2026-10-13T12:17:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/?p=2198"},"modified":"2026-10-19T16:56:47","modified_gmt":"2026-10-19T16:56:47","slug":"poti-invata-sa-te-asculti-si-sa-te-intelegi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/poti-invata-sa-te-asculti-si-sa-te-intelegi\/","title":{"rendered":"Si pu\u00f2 imparare ad ascoltare e a capire se stessi"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"2198\" class=\"elementor elementor-2198\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-577fae91 e-con-full header-on-white e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"577fae91\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8c77876 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-child\" data-id=\"8c77876\" 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https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/1786087481482-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/1786087481482-768x431.jpg 768w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/1786087481482-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/1786087481482.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4b79fb74 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"4b79fb74\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-0d5851b elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"about\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-terms\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-post-info__terms-list\">\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-post-info__terms-list-item\">Newsletter<\/span>\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f25f6e8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"f25f6e8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Si pu\u00f2 imparare ad ascoltare e a capire se stessi<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-60961a01 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"60961a01\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-85ee600 elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-calendar\" viewbox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M12 192h424c6.6 0 12 5.4 12 12v260c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V204c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12zm436-44v-36c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48h-48V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H160V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v36c0 6.6 5.4 12 12 12h424c6.6 0 12-5.4 12-12z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>13\/10\/2026<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-2dd0d2e elementor-inline-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-custom\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tIuliana Leurent\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-55b6a09 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"55b6a09\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p id=\"ember59\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Eric Berne descrive tre tre condizioni dell\u2019io che coesistono in ognuno di noi: <strong>Il bambino<\/strong>, <strong>Il Padre<\/strong> e <strong>L'adulto<\/strong>. Non si tratta di stadi di sviluppo o di tipologie di personalit\u00e0, ma di diversi modi in cui interpretiamo le esperienze, attribuiamo senso alle relazioni e scegliamo di rispondere al mondo circostante. Coesistono in modo permanente e si attivano in modo diverso in funzione del contesto, delle persone con cui interagiamo e, soprattutto, delle esperienze che portiamo dentro di noi.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember60\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\"><strong>Il bambino <\/strong>\u00c8 il luogo in cui rimangono registrate le nostre emozioni, le nostre esigenze e le nostre prime adattamenti.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember61\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\"><strong>Il Padre<\/strong>conserva le regole, i valori, le credenze e i modelli relazionali che abbiamo interiorizzato da coloro che ci hanno curato o che hanno rappresentato l'autorit\u00e0.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember62\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\"><strong>L'adulto<\/strong> \u00c8 l'unica parte in grado di guardare al presente con discernimento, di distinguere ci\u00f2 che appartiene al passato da ci\u00f2 che appartiene alla realt\u00e0 di oggi e di scegliere consapevolmente il modo in cui risponder\u00e0.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember63\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Molte volte non scegliamo consapevolmente la persona con cui comunichiamo. In situazioni di pressione, conflitto o vulnerabilit\u00e0 rispondiamo dai luoghi che, una volta, hanno imparato che in questo modo \u00e8 pi\u00f9 sicuro. Se nella nostra infanzia non ci siamo sentiti visti, apprezzati o abbastanza importanti, \u00e8 possibile che anche nelle relazioni adulte cerchiamo, senza rendercene conto, persone che possano riparare quella esperienza. Non cerchiamo solo amore, apprezzamento o validazione. Cerciamo, simbolicamente, quell\u2019Adulto che possa occupare il posto del Padre che abbiamo sentito di aver perso o di non aver avuto come avremmo dovuto.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember64\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Analogamente, quando le nostre decisioni sono accolte con pi\u00f9 criticit\u00e0 che con fiducia, \u00e8 possibile imparare a orientarci pi\u00f9 facilmente secondo le aspettative degli altri piuttosto che secondo il nostro discernimento e la nostra responsabilit\u00e0 personali. La voce critica finisce per essere interiorizzata e, nel tempo, non sembra pi\u00f9 appartenere al critico esterno. Diventa il modo naturale con cui ci valutiamo, ci confrontiamo e ci relazioniamo con noi stessi. In questo modo, molte delle conversazioni che oggi abbiamo con noi stessi sono in realt\u00e0 l\u2019eco di conversazioni iniziate molto tempo fa.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember65\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Ma la dinamica non si ferma qui. Mentre cresciamo, non rimaniamo solo nella posizione del Bambino. Cominciamo a occupare, a nostra volta, la posizione del Padre nelle relazioni che costruiamo: con i nostri figli, con il partner, con i colleghi, con le squadre che guidiamo o addirittura con noi stessi. Senza accorgercene, spesso ripetiamo il tono, le regole e i modi di relazionarsi che abbiamo interiorizzato. Oggigiorno li perpetriamo quasi identicamente. Altri volte optiamo per l\u2019opposto, convinti che se facessimo esattamente il contrario eviteremmo la sofferenza vissuta un tempo. E una e l\u2019altra possono rappresentare forme di adattamento alla stessa storia relazionale.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember66\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Questa ripetizione non parla della nostra mancanza di maturit\u00e0, ma della forza delle esperienze che ci hanno modellato. La nostra storia relazionale continua a comunicare attraverso di noi, anche quando crediamo di parlare solo del presente. Si esprime attraverso il perfezionismo, la necessit\u00e0 di controllo, la difficolt\u00e0 di chiedere aiuto, la tendenza a giustificarci eccessivamente o la convinzione che la vulnerabilit\u00e0 debba essere nascosta. Molte volte reagiamo non a ci\u00f2 che accade davanti a noi, ma a ci\u00f2 che la situazione attuale riattiva dalle nostre esperienze precedenti.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember67\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">I valori che abbiamo ricevuto nella famiglia o nelle comunit\u00e0 in cui siamo cresciuti sono essenziali. Offrono orientamento, identit\u00e0 e senso. Tuttavia, ci sono momenti in cui smettono di essere punti di riferimento e diventano posizioni che sentiamo di dover difendere a tutti i costi. Pi\u00f9 una determinata valenza \u00e8 stata difesa, idealizzata o proclamata nella nostra storia, tanto pi\u00f9 c\u2019\u00e8 il rischio di sviluppare una rigidit\u00e0 emotiva intorno a essa. In quel momento non ascoltiamo per comprendere, ma per confermare ci\u00f2 che gi\u00e0 crediamo. Il dialogo si trasforma in confronto e le differenze di prospettiva vengono percepite come minacce, non come opportunit\u00e0 di apprendimento.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember68\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Forse \u00e8 proprio per questo che spendiamo cos\u00ec tanto energia nelle dispute legate alla forma delle cose, dimenticando che, in fondo, le persone spesso condividono esigenze molto simili. Al di l\u00e0 delle opinioni, delle regole e delle convinzioni, c\u2019\u00e8 la stessa necessit\u00e0 di essere riconosciuti, rispettati e accettati. Quando guardiamo solo alla forma, le differenze sembrano inconciliabili. Quando riesco a scendere al livello del contenuto, scopro che molte delle controversie parlano, infatti, della stessa esigenza umana espressa in linguaggi diversi.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember69\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Il ruolo dell'Adulto non \u00e8 quello di ridurre al silenzio n\u00e9 il Bambino n\u00e9 il Genitore. Il suo ruolo \u00e8 quello di ascoltare entrambi. Di osservare ci\u00f2 che appartiene al passato e ci\u00f2 che appartiene al presente, ci\u00f2 che merita di essere conservato e ci\u00f2 che pu\u00f2 essere trasformato. L'Adulto non respinge i valori, ma li guarda con discernimento. Non nega le emozioni del Bambino, ma gli offre uno spazio in cui esse possano essere comprese senza che ogni reazione sia automaticamente guidata.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember70\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Forse il processo di maturazione non significa diventare qualcun altro, ma iniziare a osservare con chi partecipiamo in ogni relazione. Capire cosa selezioniamo dalle esperienze degli altri, cosa continuiamo a ripetere dalla nostra storia e come scegliamo di essere conteggiati nella vita degli altri. Allo stesso tempo, significa sviluppare la pazienza e la dolcezza per accettare che le persone ci vedranno sempre attraverso la propria esperienza di vita, non attraverso i nostri occhi.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ember71\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph\">Nessuno pu\u00f2 farci valere pi\u00f9 di quanto noi scegliamo di valere nei nostri stessi occhi.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"ember72\" class=\"ember-view reader-text-block__heading-3\">Nel contesto creato, inizia la vera incontro con noi stessi e ci rendiamo disponibili a guardarlo.<\/h3>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-68c13df0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"68c13df0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Condividi il post:<\/span>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3ee1ecf7 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27.14 0 55.52 4.84 55.52 4.84v61h-31.28c-30.8 0-40.41 19.12-40.41 38.73V256h68.78l-11 71.69h-57.78V501C413.31 482.38 504 379.78 504 256z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_twitter\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share pe twitter\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-twitter\" viewbox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M459.37 151.716c.325 4.548.325 9.097.325 13.645 0 138.72-105.583 298.558-298.558 298.558-59.452 0-114.68-17.219-161.137-47.106 8.447.974 16.568 1.299 25.34 1.299 49.055 0 94.213-16.568 130.274-44.832-46.132-.975-84.792-31.188-98.112-72.772 6.498.974 12.995 1.624 19.818 1.624 9.421 0 18.843-1.3 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\/><\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__text\">\n\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-post__title\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/compassion-nourishes-relationships-sacrifice-consumes-them\/\" >\n\t\t\t\tCompassion nourishes relationships, sacrifice consumes them\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<article class=\"elementor-post elementor-grid-item post-2426 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-newsletter\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-post__thumbnail__link\" href=\"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/alignment-is-not-a-state-it-is-a-process\/\" tabindex=\"-1\" >\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__thumbnail\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-2427\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Alignment_is_not_a_state-18x10.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__text\">\n\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-post__title\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/alignment-is-not-a-state-it-is-a-process\/\" >\n\t\t\t\tAlignment is Not a State, It is a Process\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<article class=\"elementor-post elementor-grid-item post-2420 post type-post status-publish format-standard 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19.6-22.9 34.7-42.6 42.6-29.5 11.7-99.5 9-132.1 9s-102.7 2.6-132.1-9c-19.6-7.8-34.7-22.9-42.6-42.6-11.7-29.5-9-99.5-9-132.1s-2.6-102.7 9-132.1c7.8-19.6 22.9-34.7 42.6-42.6 29.5-11.7 99.5-9 132.1-9s102.7-2.6 132.1 9c19.6 7.8 34.7 22.9 42.6 42.6 11.7 29.5 9 99.5 9 132.1s2.7 102.7-9 132.1z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-782b1fd9 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"782b1fd9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I servizi offerti sono di coaching e sviluppo personale. Non costituiscono una consulenza psicologica e non sostituiscono l'intervento di uno specialista autorizzato.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-155cf047 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"155cf047\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">\u00a9 2026 Tutti i diritti riservati.<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Terapia Kumera LinkedIn Facebook Instagram Eric Berne descrive tre condizioni dell\u2019io che coesistono in ognuno di noi: il Bambino, il Genitore<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2219,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_canvas","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newsletter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2198"}],"version-history":[{"count":42,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2323,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198\/revisions\/2323"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iulianaleurent.ro\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}